Today I turned 26, boy do I feel it! For some reason the only number that has been on my mind all day is 16. I was 16...10 years ago. In those 10 years so much has changed in my life, some for the better and some for the miracles I am still waiting to see! I know God has transformed my life in the last 10 year and I can't wait to see what the next 10, 20, 30, or even 50 years will bring me!
When I turned 16, I lived in Evansville Indiana with my mom. Just me and her, what a wonderful relationship grew out of it just being us! I attended high school at Central and other than that, my life was not real exciting to the outside. There was a part of my life that only a select few saw and so for the most part was very private. I was dating a guy named Ryan, that I thought was going to be "the one", little did I know God had Tim already lined up! If I was out of school, I was with Ryan. He was my whole world and the only 1 person in my life that even I thought mattered.
Ryan and I had a very dependant relationship on one another. He needed me as much as I needed him or so I thought. He was 8 years older than I and so we always had alcohol. We drank together to make the time go by. I don't remember any time when I was with Ryan, one of us didn't have a drink in our hand. The day I turned 16, we split a 6 pack while my mom was working. She worked 2nd shift at Red Cross, which meant after school, it was just me at home. I enjoyed having Ryan there, even if it wasn't the healthiest part of my life.
The weekend I after I turned 16, Ryan was out of town, so one of my friends from Cville came up to see me. Kirk and I were close and had always been. He came up in his moms car on Saturday morning and stayed til Sunday. I was happy to have someone from "home" visiting me! Saturday night, Kirk and I decided we would go drive around town and I could show him more of Evansville. We had decided that I could drive and I thought I would take him over to one of the gravel roads not far from my house. I hit the gas pedal and in about 5 seconds, I saw my whole life, 16 years, pass before my eyes. I had hit the gas pedal, not taking into consideration the weight of the car, Chevy Caprice, and it fish-tailed out of control. The car started veering to the right, which led right into a brick wall, I spun the wheel as fast as I could and it turned to the left. We ended up going through a fence and some trees, coming to a stop in a field. I was so scared and shaking, I couldn't even look at Kirk. He was so silent in the seat next to me. We started the car and drove back home. He left early on Sunday morning, earlier than planned and came back home. He fixed the damage to the car and we never brought it up again. This was the scariest night of my life.
I have thought of that night often in the last 10 years. God had His hand of protection around us that night. Kirk and I don't speak now, but I know that night will live with us forever. Ryan and I broke up in November of 2001 and Tim re-entered my life not long after! Tim and I are going on 8 years of marriage now and Kaizer is such a blessing! When I was 16, I never thought about where I would be at 26! In the last 10 years, who I am has changed so much and who I will be is still a work in progress!
Who I was at 16, has opened my eyes to so much! I was a 16 year old kid with freedom, maybe too much at times. I had the best friend I could ask for in my mom, and she is still my best friend! She was making the best home possible for a difficult and sometimes stubborn 16 year old kid. I did all the things I thought were cool and fun at such an early age that when I was legal to do those things, the appeal was gone. I am proud to be able to say I survived some things that maybe others don't and found a way out of some scary times.
10 years and life later, I am a wife, a mom, a teacher, a child of the King, and most of all I am ME, because of who I was. I wish I had hit the slow down button and done some more true fun things at 16, instead of trying to be the "cool" one. God had a plan for me even back then, even if I couldn't see past the next 30 minutes at 16! God knew at 26, I would be married to hard working and supportive man! He knew I would have the child I had prayed for who is pretty awesome and adorable! He knew I would be planning that child's 6th birthday party! I am thankful God's plan held strong, even when I veered off course!
Sorry for the babble, but I really needed to write tonight!
